Suspended Introspection

I couldn't make out much. It was quite dark. It was only after my vision adjusted a bit that I noticed a glimmer of light. A wavy glimmer of light. But it was moving farther and farther away. The sound all around was muffled. It was not like I couldn't hear anything but every noise was somewhat toned down.

I thought maybe the light was, perhaps, somebody carrying a torch. I thought of calling out to them but didn't. I wouldn't know who they were. Thought it was better to mind my own business which I did.I immediately thought of my wife, where was she. Even if we had an electricity cut, she must be around. So I called for her. At least tried to. "Farah!, Farah!, Farah?!". Nothing! And I couldn't even hear myself. For some reason I could not speak. Bemused, I stayed put, contemplating, when something brushed against my nose. It almost made me sneeze but I controlled it well.

The glimmering light was even farther now. Fading away by the second. I decided to callout. "Hello..?!?" and Nothing! Just like before no noise and no response. The light didn't even stop and it was quite clear that regardless of how much I yelled, there wasn't going to be any sound and there wasn't going to be any response. Strange.

Farah was a school teacher, so maybe she was off to work. That would explain why I hadn't seen her thus far. She was a kind and caring woman. There was not a day that went by that I didn't thank my lucky stars for such a beautiful wife. Allah had decided not to bless us with children. So we left it to "Allah might what Allah wills.". We had each other and I was grateful.

The glimmering light, was slowly diminishing and it was getting darker around me by the minute. It was at that time that something brushed against my arms, chest and nose again. This time, it felt, that I would not be able to hold back. So with the intention to block my sneeze I raised my hand to cover the mouth and nose. To my surprise I felt a drag. Moving my arm was slow. It felt heavy. It was as if it moved against some resistance. I noticed my sleeves and the cloth appeared to be floating.

It was at this time that I felt like I was backed up against the wall. Clearly a surface pushed against my back. However, initially what I thought was a hard surface, was instead a softer bed. The fading light was almost gone now and I had to give my eyes time to adjust. I had started noticing a severe headache. It was pumping, however I hoped it'll pass on its own.

After a few minutes. I thought I could make out things in the distance. Appeared to be old dusty wreckage of sorts and some new. Broken structures of various shapes and sizes. I was really confused. Not sure what all this stuff was doing here. I then noticed a glint. A fast shimmer of light moving here and there, left and right, up and down. It was fast. It didn't take long for it to come close. Close enough to brush against my body and I realised what it was. It was school of small fish. Enlightenment!

Now that my sight was cooperating, I looked around and saw that what I assumed to be a wall against my back was in fact ground. This was a muddy squishy ground. I had arrived. Touched the seabed. Further observation, and I saw many bodies lying on the bed. Looking up I could see that there were many more still floating down. I was one of them and had eventually made it down. Hit rock bottom.

It all made sense then. Me and my wife, had booked a cruise that summer. Unfortunate for us, the cruise hit a storm. The turbulent nature of the angry sea, would not spare us. The ship crashed and it sank. The last thing I remember is brushing my hand through Farah's hair, gently kissing her and embracing her tightly. All the while awaiting our fate.

What I had experienced, or was experiencing, was after death brain activity and consciousness. I was not really about to move, I did not sneeze. It was all just in my head literally. The glimmering light was the Sun, as witnessed while I was floating down to the bottom of the sea. The finality of this realisation was heart breaking. It wasn't that I was sad because I had died, everybody has to die someday. The hurt was caused because of the realisation that I had left my loved one behind. It was like visiting them for a vacation and taking your leave with a hasty farewell and without knowing whether you'll ever have the chance to come back. The helplessness was intolerable.

That day, tears, if there were any, contributed to the body of water that consumed many dreams, relations and aspirations.