The Ultimate Perspective

Today marks the 3rd birthday of my son's life. Today marks the 1st birthday of my son in my life.

Unfortunate as it was, I fell sick before my son's first birthday and I was unconscious and absent for a significant period of time; more than 2 years to be specific. 6 months was a brief enough period, to have spent with my kid, that whatever made me sick, affected my memory significantly.

So much so that when I first regained consciousness and my wife casually mentioned what our son had been upto, my jaw dropped. My heart felt as if it was in a car crusher. All sorts of odd thoughts crossed my mind. Primarily I suspected that the assumed time of my absence was longer. Maybe I was living through an episode of those dystopian stories that I once loved; a person put to sleep and wakes up in the future. Estranged in a familiar time. I was not aware I had a son. The feelings felt were that of extreme joy and extreme sorrow, at the same time. A situation that I am sure would not fare well for a person of weak resolution.

A realisation strikes of a shift in time. A displacement where my reference and the reference for the rest of the world is no longer aligned. A suitable analogy would be that of a passenger's suitcase falling open on a train station where the other passengers have boarded and are ready to depart. Meanwhile the passenger in question, scrambles to repack as the train slowly gathers momentum to exit the platform. The rest of the passengers in the train can see this other passenger struggling/fumbling on the platform and in the very instant that passenger is not aware of anything else apart from the state they are in which is a state to sort themselves out. The rest of the world has already started their journey, it is on its way while the fate of this passenger still needs to be ascertained. The world is two steps ahead (in time) of where ever this passenger is.

The time required for the passenger to align themselves with the rest comes down to whether they can successfully repack on the fly, board a moving train, then find a suitable seat and settle some time before the destination arrives. As such, I realise that I have to give chase. Give chase to that fleeting train. Give chase to a time lost and that, primarily, by taking 2 steps where the world takes one. Yet do all this while balancing everything and not burdening myself. Certain obstacles might make this chase never ending or perhaps even useless to begin with.

There, however, stands a small chance of relief and success. It cannot be foreseen which side the coin lands on and it is one of the very few blind risks I would take if I proceeded to give chase.

Regardless, having spent my son's first birthday, I thank Allah for his grace, sympathy and benevolence. Not just for the opportunity to be with my family once again but also to invest time in me; a feeble mortal. to wake me up from my material slumber and make me look at things differently. Gracing me with 2 perspectives; the material & the divine, in one life time. I do have some material obstacles that I need to overcome, however, as I have been progressing through my difficult time I have thought a lot about a lot of things in details that I couldn't afford before due to lack of time or abundance of distractions. I know in my heart that these are indeed the right targets for me to aim for and pray that Allah enables me to work towards these goals soon. I understand that this is Allah's choice for me. This is my path; to realise these goals in light of the ultimate perspective.